Globo Gym Purple Cobras Dodgeball Team Unisex Tee

Globo Gym Purple Cobras – We're Better Than You... And We Know It

If Average Joe's is the lovable underdog, then Globo Gym is the smug, corporate villain you love to hate. This epic design reps the Purple Cobras – White Goodman's elite dodgeball squad of genetically superior freaks with that massive, menacing cobra hood staring you down in vibrant purple and blue, red tongue flicking like it's ready to strike.

Circular logo screams "GLOBO GYM" at the top, "PURPLE COBRAS" arched below, flanked by mini cobra badges because one venomous headshot isn't enough. It's pure 2004 dodgeball glory: over-the-top, arrogant, and hilariously obnoxious.

Wear this and channel your inner White Goodman while you flex on the court, the gym, or just while quoting "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball." Fellow fans will spot it from across the room and either cheer or challenge you to a no-holds-barred match. Normies? They'll just think you're really into snakes and bad gym etiquette. Spoiler: it's both, and the Purple Cobras don't lose... except that one time to a bunch of misfits with a pirate and a cheerleader.

Premium cobra-strike specs (unisex heavy cotton, because Globo Gym demands peak performance... or at least peak attitude):

• 5.3 oz heavy cotton (100% US-grown via Cotton Trust Protocol – ethical gains for your ethically questionable superiority complex)
• Classic unisex fit S–5XL – loose for maximum windmill throws or hiding your "genetic disorders"
• No side seams, taped shoulders, double-stitched hems – survives dodgeball tournaments, protein shake spills, and dramatic slow-motion walks
• Tear-away label – no distractions when you're busy being better than everyone
• Oeko-Tex certified – clean fabric so your arrogance stays pure(ish)

• Dodgeball leagues (bonus if you're trash-talking the other team)
• Gym sessions (where "we're better than you" is basically the dress code)
• Movie marathons (pair with popcorn and yelling "Here come the Purple Cobras!")
• Any situation where someone needs a reminder: Globo Gym doesn't negotiate with losers

Life's too short for Average Joe's mediocrity and self-acceptance. This shirt doesn't just rep a team, it declares war on normalcy with cobra-level swagger. Slip it on, hood up (figuratively), and let the world know: you're not here to participate... you're here to dominate.

Globo Gym Purple Cobras: We're better than you... and we know it.
No refunds. No mercy. Just purple venom.